stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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