I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
