ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
