the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
