I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
