that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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