So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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