Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
