I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
