Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
