Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
