There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
