I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
