Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
