did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
