She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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