I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Shame - the story of my life.
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