yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
