Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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