I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
