I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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