I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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