I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
