so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Yo dont text me then not text me
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
