he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize