"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
