I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
