.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
