Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
