all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
