So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
