I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
