Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
this just has baby written all over it
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
