that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
