I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
