She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
