True but thats because hes a fetus.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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