I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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