Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
