i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
