C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
