Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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