Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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