I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
