I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
