could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
