Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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