I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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