I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
