Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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