i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Randomize
