You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
