I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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