Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize