Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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