the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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