someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
