so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
