i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
