He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
