Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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