Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
