I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
