Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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