i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
