Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
