He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize