I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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