I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
