i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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