I look better un-naked...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
