"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
