im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I need to calm my uterus...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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