omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
