He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
