This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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