I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
nutella sex= disaster
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
