Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
